Sailing against the wind

My name is Raman lal(49). I work as a police constable in Delhi. My salary is Rs 5500 per month. I also get certain articles of day to day use worth around Rs 1000 per month and certain other benifits.

Given the privileged policeman job I am in I had numerous opportunities to earn more but I have never taken a bribe in my entire career while my co-workers make Rs 200 on an average daily. Senior babus donot treat me well because of my integrity and usually i get a field posting. I thank God that i have been able to sustain field pressure and strain even at this age. It is also sad that people look towards any policemen with suspicion and so towards me. Although it hurts, i try to remain friendly and calm. Sometimes I have to do a continuous 12 hour shift, sometimes a night shift, and sometimes on festivals but i have handled all this well during my 20 years of service.

We are a family of 8, my parents, my wife Laxmi, my daughters Geeta(21), Gayatri(18), Gauri(15) and my son Ghanshyam(11). We had decided to educate our children and take care of all their needs even when my earnings were little. Laxmi has managed our minuscule budget in an efficient way. I remember 8 years back when i brought her a new saaree on Deepawali, she was in tears and told me to return it. She said - "When you have not had a new shirt since last 5 years how can i have a new saaree." We ensure that our children get new clothes every Deepawali.

Ghanshyam and Gauri go to the secondary school, Gayatri and Geeta go to the women's college. Geeta will complete her graduation this year and then we will get her married. Laxmi has been able to save Rs 1.5 lakh and I arranged Rs. 6 Lakh through premature withdrawal of my PF benifits - a total of Rs. 7.5 Lakh. We have been looking for a brahmin(of our caste) bridegroom for Geeta but have had little success. A graduate brahmin with a Rs 5000 per month job demands a dowry of Rs. 8 Lakh. I cannot spend all on Geeta's marriage, I have to think about Gayatri and Gauri too. Hopefully we will be able to find a fitting groom for Geeta.

My father has diabates and blood pressure, he is bed-ridden. I being a government employee my family has free access to all the government hospitals. Though the conditions are not well at the city hospital we can afford only this. My mother has been nursing for him patiently all these years even when she herself is quite old.

I have faith - everything will be fine. God has been graceful to us all these years, he will continue to shower his blessings on my family. My only prayer is that my integrity doesn't budge in our adversity.